Pets
Let me take you on a journey of how our pet family started. After we were married, the plan was only to have four-legged fur babies as our children, for a variety of reasons. The first fur baby was KC, a Siamese cat. KC stands for Kitty Cat, how original! The next fur baby was Reggie, a Basenji. Why a Basenji? I worked with someone who knew about different dog breeds and we did not want a dog that would shed or bark incessantly. Fast forward several years when we changed our mind to include two legged real babies into our family and suddenly we had to shift. KC and Reggie fought like cats and dogs and KC kicked Reggie’s ass in a final smackdown, which resulted in a cone of shame for a month. Child number 1 was allergic to cats, so KC went to live with Uncle Jim who loves all cats. When child number 1 started toddling, Reggie took a snap at his face and he found himself in a new home that did not have small children by the very next day.
2005 PETA INVESTIGATES MYSTERIOUS DEATHS
You can kill a goldfish, even when you are not trying to. We brought home Mr. Krabs ($1.27) and his $47 worth of supplies on August 5th. He went belly up on August 7th. We brought home Mr. Goldie ($1.27) and Mr. Fighting Fish ($1.89 plus his special food for $7.99) on August 11th. Mr. Goldie croaked on August 18th. Matt informed me of this by scooping Mr. Goldie out of the tank and holding it in my face until I woke up. We believe Mr. Fighting Fish is still alive; we can’t quite find him in the tank on account of all the things growing in the water.
2007 resulted in the deaths of more fish. I believe this was also the year DDH went on a ski trip and I took children to a pet store and came back with a guinea pig. Why a guinea pig? It was the closest thing to a dog that I thought the children would like. I was wrong. This was a horrible mistake that created many negative memories for our family. I think we got the devil rat pig, because he was just not into being around people. He bit, drew blood every time and made us very afraid of his noises and stench.
Enter this little now 14 year old nugget, Buddy. He has made the holiday letter ever since
being in our household. The children grew up with him. Following are excerpts from the
holiday letters.
Buddy
Nibbles (the rat pig that drew blood with his sharp curly teeth, and frightened us with his pink, glowing eyes) went to live with a High School Science teacher that had snakes. I think he is still a pet, but I didn’t ask. Buddy, the miniature schnauzer, came to us in July, when we were just doing “research” on the various dog breeds. Lynae deserves all the credit/blame.
2009 Message from Buddy (age 7 in dog years):
Dear Two-Legged Creatures: I am well-fed and well-cared for! I have a nervous licking syndrome that makes my people yell and push me over. I think they are just jealous that they can’t reach their itchy spots. I am good at Peace Offering Opportunity Presentations (POOP) in the yard!
2015
Buddy had 14 rotten teeth pulled and now drools constantly. He is the same age as Lynae.
2016
We are all healthy, except for the dog- he is a HOT MESS. He costs about
$1000 per year with his various anomalies. This has included stitches in his head when
he ripped it open chasing a squirrel under a lawn chair, the removal of most of his teeth
through the years, the removal of lumps and bumps all over his body, a staff infection
that resulted from running full force into me as I was carrying a pan of boiling water
from the stove top to the counter, and Idiopathic Trigeminal Neuropathy,
which means he could not close his mouth for a week for no reason.
2017
PS: Buddy is still a viable pet after having a total of 30 teeth removed over the past
several years. He has 12 teeth left. We feel proud of the fact that we have kept him
in our family for nine years.
2018
Lynae continues to invest in keeping the ten thousand dollar ten year old dog alive.
This is a definite pet record for our family.
2019
Buddy Wolfgram has survived 11 years in this family. Despite eating entire bags of candy, retrieving and offering up dead things from the shrubs and being the reason we wake up every single day, really freaking early, he is still my favorite living thing in the house. So far, his barking has saved us from being murdered by hundreds of UPS drivers, three mail carriers, an exterminator, and a suspicious looking plastic bag. In case anyone is keeping track, he is down to 6 teeth. Adult dogs usually have 44, but he only needs the six.
2020
Buddy turned 12 and we are not sure how he has made it this far. He has a face and
a personality that only a mother could love, and I guess that falls on me.
What excitement did Buddy provide in 2021?
This 14 year old furry friend continues to annoy and comfort us. Besides having sebaceous
cysts all over his body, cloudy cataracts, loss of hearing, 6 teeth, a shaky leg, irritable
bowel syndrome, dementia, a chronic snot bubble hanging out of his right nostril,
chronic barking syndrome, chronic licking syndrome and inability to walk down stairs
without falling…..he’s our Buddy. You know how they say one man’s junk is another one’s
treasure? You dog people understand.
I know he is getting older. I know he has some health issues. I have never had to be
with a dog at the end. I know it’ll be very sad. I will cry a lot. My children and husband
will cry a lot. I’m not looking forward to it. I am preparing myself, but I will not be
prepared.
This little nugget stole my heart.
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