Life According to Lynae

  How will this letter be different from the initial family exultations to the subsequent years of gradiosity/show-boating documents?  This sh*t that happens to us slaps you upside the head and knocks you down. Luckily we are good at getting up. What lessons were learned in 2021? The best part about our bodies getting older for us is......nothing. Our bodies are betraying us and getting back at us. However, the best part about getting older in age is getting one step closer to retirement! When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you're stupid. You just need to be tolerant and kind in these situations.  My editor vetoed all the above items. He thought I was being a bit too negative and weird. 

 A student asked me if there is a difference between a classmate and a true friend. I decided to poll my 7 and 8 year old and find out what they think the qualities of a true friend. Following are their responses:  When you need them to listen, they listen.  They are kind to everybody. They don't say, "I have a better friend, so you can be my side friend." They include everyone. They are there when you need them They are nice. They understand why you are doing something. They are caring.  They will stand up for me if I need help. They are friendly, kind, respectful and responsible. They are willing to help. They are not mean, they don't say bad words, they don't people around, and they treat people nicely. They don't get in talking fights. They make sure they are not leaving people out.  They don't take people away from the person they were playing with. They tell a supervisor if a problem is going wrong. They don't lie about playdates. They don't ...

  John 2:1-10 New International Version Jesus Changes Water Into Wine 2  On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there,  2  and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.  3  When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” 4  “Woman, [ a ]  why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” 5  His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” 6  Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. [ b ] 7  Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. 8  Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so,  9  and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He...

  To the Woman who gave birth to my daughter, We have never met but we have a very strong connection. I am the mother of the girl you gave birthday to on September 6 th . I know nothing about you and I’m sure you know less than nothing about me, but I want to let you know about her. I suspect you have thought about her from time to time…if not always. She does not bear any physical resemblance to anyone else in her family, but she is beautiful inside and out. We have been on so many adventures that would not have happened, if not for her. She has suffered losses and setbacks: deaths in the family, loss of pets, loss of friends, difficulties at school, troubles at jobs. Despite all that, she cares deeply, loves deeply and hurts deeply with her whole heart. She is faithful to a fault. I struggle when I see her struggle, but she has proven strong and resilient. She is dependable and reliable. She is also musically talented. She would tell you that she has a great family. She feels s...

  When I was growing up in the seventies, the above song was popular with the neighborhood kids on Crabtree Lane. A horse walked into a bar and said, “I’ve got the trots.” There I was, having drinks and appetizers with Dear Husband and friends. We ordered Bam Bam Shrimp, Charcuterie platter full of decadence, giant pretzel with dipping sauces and fried calamari. Fast forward to the next morning and Bam Bam turned into Boom Boom. From the deepest depths of my soul came a mighty gurgle and roar. Never have I ever moved so fast to avoid shipping my pants. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt like I might possibly survive. I cautiously dressed in loose fitting clothes and went to school to teach. There were some pings, and zips, and purrs and rumbles, but I thought all was well as I was getting ready for my reading lesson . … Au contraire mon frère (that is French for I was so very wrong). Volcano eruptions go through several stages typically begin...

  My Ideal Conversation with Someone who has Polar Opposite Views would include the following: ·          We have very different ideologies and I would like to understand yours. Then I would like to explain mine. ·          I’d like to understand where you are coming from and whether it is based on fact or fear. ·          I know that this topic matters to you and is a part of your identity. ·          Our conversation needs to be reciprocal; if we are just shouting insults at each other, nothing productive will come from this conversation and it may cause irreparable damage to our relationship. ·          I try to avoid biased news sources. I want to ingest fact-based news to be informed, not just to be validated. ·          We can s...

My friend’s son recently left a three year relationship and is single and ready to mingle. While he was transitioning in his housing, he stayed with his parents for about a month. My friend’s son has numerous positive qualities and characteristics, but there are some that are less than that. Keeping the good the bad and the ugly in mind, I decided to compose a personal ad for my friend’s son. Dear Bachelorette Number One, Here is what you should know before you date me. I am a SWM, 5’5”, with brown hair, brown eyes, 140 pounds, and 21 year old. I am an accumulator/collector/stockpiler of many items. If someone rang my doorbell and offered my $10 to find 20 random things, I would earn the $10. I like to sit and relax. Some people refer to inactivity as laziness. However I believe it lowers blood pressure and frees your mind. I am very low maintenance when it comes to fashion. By wearing the same rotation of clothes, I avoid decision fatigue. I believe clutter equals creativi...