Life According to Lynae

  Everet Everet has been in our family since I was in fifth grade. He moved at least five times since living with us and who knows how many moves he had before my parents took him in. We know very little about his past, but he had had major surgery removing internal organs before he moved into our house on Crabtree Lane. I didn’t really appreciate Everet until I was older. He annoyed me with his off key voice, he seemed very old-school and sort of unrelenting with his demands towards perfection, and frankly was not a lot of fun to hang out with. However, as the oldest child, it was my responsibility to be Everet’s caretaker after my parents could no longer care for him. He tried to be a part of my children’s lives, but they had no interest in spending time with him. Everet has a finished room in the basement where he spends all his free time. He does not say much, nor does he eat much. He really is no trouble.   Unfortunately, he is near the end of his life. I’ve consulted s...

  Let me take you on a journey of how our pet family started. After we were married, the plan was only to have four-legged fur babies as our children, for a variety of reasons. The first fur baby was KC, a Siamese cat. KC stands for Kitty Cat, how original! The next fur baby was Reggie, a Basenji. Why a Basenji? I worked with someone who knew about different dog  breeds and we did not want a dog that would shed or bark incessantly. Fast forward several years when we changed our mind to include two legged real babies into our family and suddenly we had to shift. KC and Reggie fought like cats and dogs and KC kicked Reggie’s ass in a final smackdown, which resulted in a cone of shame for a month. Child number 1 was allergic to cats, so KC went to live with Uncle Jim who loves all cats. When child number 1 started toddling, Reggie took a snap at his face and he found himself in a new home that did not have small children by the very next day.    Fast forward to 200...

  How will this letter be different from the initial family exultations to the subsequent years of gradiosity/show-boating documents?  This sh*t that happens to us slaps you upside the head and knocks you down. Luckily we are good at getting up. What lessons were learned in 2021? The best part about our bodies getting older for us is......nothing. Our bodies are betraying us and getting back at us. However, the best part about getting older in age is getting one step closer to retirement! When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you're stupid. You just need to be tolerant and kind in these situations.  My editor vetoed all the above items. He thought I was being a bit too negative and weird. 

 A student asked me if there is a difference between a classmate and a true friend. I decided to poll my 7 and 8 year old and find out what they think the qualities of a true friend. Following are their responses:  When you need them to listen, they listen.  They are kind to everybody. They don't say, "I have a better friend, so you can be my side friend." They include everyone. They are there when you need them They are nice. They understand why you are doing something. They are caring.  They will stand up for me if I need help. They are friendly, kind, respectful and responsible. They are willing to help. They are not mean, they don't say bad words, they don't people around, and they treat people nicely. They don't get in talking fights. They make sure they are not leaving people out.  They don't take people away from the person they were playing with. They tell a supervisor if a problem is going wrong. They don't lie about playdates. They don't ...

  John 2:1-10 New International Version Jesus Changes Water Into Wine 2  On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there,  2  and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.  3  When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” 4  “Woman, [ a ]  why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” 5  His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” 6  Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. [ b ] 7  Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. 8  Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so,  9  and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He...

  To the Woman who gave birth to my daughter, We have never met but we have a very strong connection. I am the mother of the girl you gave birthday to on September 6 th . I know nothing about you and I’m sure you know less than nothing about me, but I want to let you know about her. I suspect you have thought about her from time to time…if not always. She does not bear any physical resemblance to anyone else in her family, but she is beautiful inside and out. We have been on so many adventures that would not have happened, if not for her. She has suffered losses and setbacks: deaths in the family, loss of pets, loss of friends, difficulties at school, troubles at jobs. Despite all that, she cares deeply, loves deeply and hurts deeply with her whole heart. She is faithful to a fault. I struggle when I see her struggle, but she has proven strong and resilient. She is dependable and reliable. She is also musically talented. She would tell you that she has a great family. She feels s...

  When I was growing up in the seventies, the above song was popular with the neighborhood kids on Crabtree Lane. A horse walked into a bar and said, “I’ve got the trots.” There I was, having drinks and appetizers with Dear Husband and friends. We ordered Bam Bam Shrimp, Charcuterie platter full of decadence, giant pretzel with dipping sauces and fried calamari. Fast forward to the next morning and Bam Bam turned into Boom Boom. From the deepest depths of my soul came a mighty gurgle and roar. Never have I ever moved so fast to avoid shipping my pants. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt like I might possibly survive. I cautiously dressed in loose fitting clothes and went to school to teach. There were some pings, and zips, and purrs and rumbles, but I thought all was well as I was getting ready for my reading lesson . … Au contraire mon frère (that is French for I was so very wrong). Volcano eruptions go through several stages typically begin...