Life According to Lynae

  To the Woman who gave birth to my daughter, We have never met but we have a very strong connection. I am the mother of the girl you gave birthday to on September 6 th . I know nothing about you and I’m sure you know less than nothing about me, but I want to let you know about her. I suspect you have thought about her from time to time…if not always. She does not bear any physical resemblance to anyone else in her family, but she is beautiful inside and out. We have been on so many adventures that would not have happened, if not for her. She has suffered losses and setbacks: deaths in the family, loss of pets, loss of friends, difficulties at school, troubles at jobs. Despite all that, she cares deeply, loves deeply and hurts deeply with her whole heart. She is faithful to a fault. I struggle when I see her struggle, but she has proven strong and resilient. She is dependable and reliable. She is also musically talented. She would tell you that she has a great family. She feels s...

  When I was growing up in the seventies, the above song was popular with the neighborhood kids on Crabtree Lane. A horse walked into a bar and said, “I’ve got the trots.” There I was, having drinks and appetizers with Dear Husband and friends. We ordered Bam Bam Shrimp, Charcuterie platter full of decadence, giant pretzel with dipping sauces and fried calamari. Fast forward to the next morning and Bam Bam turned into Boom Boom. From the deepest depths of my soul came a mighty gurgle and roar. Never have I ever moved so fast to avoid shipping my pants. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt like I might possibly survive. I cautiously dressed in loose fitting clothes and went to school to teach. There were some pings, and zips, and purrs and rumbles, but I thought all was well as I was getting ready for my reading lesson . … Au contraire mon frère (that is French for I was so very wrong). Volcano eruptions go through several stages typically begin...

  My Ideal Conversation with Someone who has Polar Opposite Views would include the following: ·          We have very different ideologies and I would like to understand yours. Then I would like to explain mine. ·          I’d like to understand where you are coming from and whether it is based on fact or fear. ·          I know that this topic matters to you and is a part of your identity. ·          Our conversation needs to be reciprocal; if we are just shouting insults at each other, nothing productive will come from this conversation and it may cause irreparable damage to our relationship. ·          I try to avoid biased news sources. I want to ingest fact-based news to be informed, not just to be validated. ·          We can s...

My friend’s son recently left a three year relationship and is single and ready to mingle. While he was transitioning in his housing, he stayed with his parents for about a month. My friend’s son has numerous positive qualities and characteristics, but there are some that are less than that. Keeping the good the bad and the ugly in mind, I decided to compose a personal ad for my friend’s son. Dear Bachelorette Number One, Here is what you should know before you date me. I am a SWM, 5’5”, with brown hair, brown eyes, 140 pounds, and 21 year old. I am an accumulator/collector/stockpiler of many items. If someone rang my doorbell and offered my $10 to find 20 random things, I would earn the $10. I like to sit and relax. Some people refer to inactivity as laziness. However I believe it lowers blood pressure and frees your mind. I am very low maintenance when it comes to fashion. By wearing the same rotation of clothes, I avoid decision fatigue. I believe clutter equals creativi...

My name is Buddy and I have some things to say. I have lived with my human family for almost 13 years. I am 13 years and 3 months old. I'd like to describe the humans in my house.  Dad: He calls me getyourdamdoglynae and dummy. He keeps asking if it is time for "the shot" and I'm not sure what that means but Mom gives him the look when he says it. He pets me and gives me attention unless I do something gross. Boy: He was out of the house for a long time and now he is home for awhile. He used to put me over his shoulder and pretend I was a poop gun and aim my backside at Girl.  Girl: She has taken great prizes from me. I discovered a rabbit that was already dead and then I caught one on the run. Girl rained on my prize parades and did not allow me to keep them. Plink off the teeth, plop onto the shovel and 'pult into the woods. Girl also removed a mouse foot that I was using to floss my teeth that I snuck into the house. Mom: She chose me over a yellow lab, pug and...

  A close friend of mine has a daughter that is out of school and trying to find a boyfriend. Her daughter has dated some men that have been on the Dealbreakers list, according to Psychology Today, May 2014. My friend suggested that her daughter should raise her standards to the following expectations: ·          He should be at least 18 years old. ·          He should have graduated from High School. ·          If he has graduated from High School, he should have a full time job, join the military or go on to higher education. ·          He should respect his parents and her parents. ·          He should not beg you to do something you do not want to do. If he threatens to kill himself if you don’t do whatever, RUN! ·          He...

  Gregory Shawn Grissom Jul 22, 1970 – Mar 18, 2007 GREGORY S. GRISSOM ST. PAUL, MN – Greg Grissom, 36, (formerly of Racine) died unexpectedly of a heart attack on Sunday, March 18, 2007. He was born in Indianapolis, IN on July 22, 1970 to Gary and Bonnie (nee: Docter) Grissom. His mother Bonnie preceded him in death on June 14, 2006. Greg graduated from Case High School in 1988 and attended the University of Wisconsin – Madison. Greg was a kind and gentle person who will be remembered for his quick wit, sense of humor and contagious smile. His passions included art and music. However, his son Austin was the center of his world.  Gregory is my brother.  I'd like to share a birthday message I sent to his son on his birthday, June 29. Dear Austin, On the day you were born, the sky was blue, the flowers were bright and the winds were calm and gentle.  On the day you were born, people were in awe of the miracle brought into this world. On the day you were born, no one kn...